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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

Created: 27 November 2016
Hits: 2996

I always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So I found a pair on sale and wore them home. Walking in the kitchen I asked my wife: "Notice anything different about me?" She looked up and said: "Nope."

So I figured how to fix that. I went into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again I asked her: "Notice anything different now?"  This time she slowly looked me up and down, then said: "What's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Now I was really mad so I told her: "You know why it's hanging down. 'Cause it's lookin' at my new boots!" Without missing a beat she said" "Then you shoulda bought a hat."

And that's when the fight started...

Under Pressure

Created: 14 November 2016
Hits: 3184

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Get Him In The Mood

Created: 06 November 2016
Hits: 3032

For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks him what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.

He tells her, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" she asks,

He says, "Mission accomplished!"

And that's when the fight started...

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On our honeymoon night I asked my bride, "Honey... am I the first?"

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And that's when the fight started...

Not A Lifesaver

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel all types of objects, smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of candy lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.

"Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped. "I’ll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It’s something your Mommy probably calls your Daddy all the time."

Instantly, Little Johnny spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit ’em out, you guys, they’re assholes!"

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