A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

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I always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So I found a pair on sale and wore them home. Walking in the kitchen I asked my wife: "Notice anything different about me?" She looked up and said: "Nope."

So I figured how to fix that. I went into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again I asked her: "Notice anything different now?"  This time she slowly looked me up and down, then said: "What's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Now I was really mad so I told her: "You know why it's hanging down. 'Cause it's lookin' at my new boots!" Without missing a beat she said" "Then you shoulda bought a hat."

And that's when the fight started...

Under Pressure

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I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Get Him In The Mood

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For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks him what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.

He tells her, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" she asks,

He says, "Mission accomplished!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

It's Gonna Be One or the Other

An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."

How To Tell Them Apart

Wife walks into the kitchen and finds her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Hunting flies," he tells her.

"Oh, kill any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," was his reply. Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"

"Easy," he says. "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

Really Paid Off!

A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.

The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"

The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."

The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."

A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.

The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."

The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."

The bank manager says, "What does it do?"

The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."