A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

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I always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So I found a pair on sale and wore them home. Walking in the kitchen I asked my wife: "Notice anything different about me?" She looked up and said: "Nope."

So I figured how to fix that. I went into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again I asked her: "Notice anything different now?"  This time she slowly looked me up and down, then said: "What's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Now I was really mad so I told her: "You know why it's hanging down. 'Cause it's lookin' at my new boots!" Without missing a beat she said" "Then you shoulda bought a hat."

And that's when the fight started...

Under Pressure

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I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

How To Get Him In The Mood

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For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks him what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.

He tells her, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" she asks,

He says, "Mission accomplished!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Senior Moment

Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"

Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"

Cheaper Than A Motel

An old couple goes to the doctor. The man says, "We want to know if we're makin' love properly. Will you watch us?"

The doctor says, "Go ahead." So they go to it.

The doctor says, "Looks good to me... That'll be forty dollars."

They go back six weeks in a row and do the same thing each time.

On the seventh week the doctor says, "Why do you keep coming back? I told you, you're making love perfectly."

The old guy says, "Well, she can't come to my house, and I can't go to her's...a motel is fifty bucks...you only charge us forty and we get back thirty-five back from Medicare."

Up And Down

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother, too embarassed to tell her little girl about sex, makes up an answer. “Well, sweetie, sometimes daddy’s tummy gets too big so I have to jump up and down on it to flatten it out.”

The little girl looks at mom and says, “Well, mommy you're really wasting your time.” The mother is confused so she asks, “Why do you say that sweetheart?”

The little girl answers, “Because mommy, when you leave for work in the morning, the lady next door comes over and blows it back up.”