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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Don't Blame Me

Created: 23 December 2016
Hits: 3289

My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.

I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"

And that's when the fight started...

Keep It In The Family

Created: 16 December 2016
Hits: 2925

A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"

The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"

And that's when the fight started...

And When You Die...

Created: 13 December 2016
Hits: 2701

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

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Sex Is Always On Time

Typical macho guy married a good-looking broad and after the wedding, he laid down the rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't want any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any questions?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Weight Watchers

My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.

Turn It Off!

What's the difference between light and hard?

You can fall asleep with a light on.

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