A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

It's A Celebration

Hits: 2940

My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"

I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."

And that;s when the fight started...

He Should Have Done The TIme

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A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied.

"Well, I would have been released tonight."

And that's when the fight started...

You're Asking The Wrong Person

Hits: 2395

The family was having dinner last night when our son turned to his mother and asked: "Mom, what's a blowjob"

I turned to him and said: "Your mother doesn't know son."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

Don't Ask

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

Too Old For That

A ninety-year-old guy is walking by a lake when he hears, "Hi, there." He looks down, and it's a bullfrog.
He picks it up, and the frog says, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
The old guy unzips his bag, puts in the frog, and starts to zip it back up. The frog says, "What are you doing?"
The old guy says, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog."