A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

After I'm Gone

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I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

So That's How It Happened

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I told my wife: You know the trouble with most women? They get all excited over nothing!"

She said: "Yeah, I know what you mean, I married him."

And that's when the fight started...

I'd Like To Point This Out

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My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.

So I did - the middle one.

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not Your Typical Over The Counter Medicine

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Best Way To Go

When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.

Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.

Put It On My Bill

Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"