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And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

Created: 25 February 2017
Hits: 2534

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

It Takes Two

Created: 21 February 2017
Hits: 2388

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

All The Same

Created: 11 February 2017
Hits: 3159

My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."

She said: "You miss them all."

And that's when the fight started...

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Out The Door

Two lawyers were leaving the office. "I can't wait to get home," says one. "As soon as I walk in the door I'm going to rip my wife's panties off."

"I know the feeling." his partner says.

"No, I'm serious," says the first guy. "They're killing me."

Say What?!

A guy says to his new girlfriend: "Why are you always playing with my balls?"

She says: "Because I miss mine."

It's Gonna Be A Good Year

What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?

One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.

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