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And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

Created: 25 February 2017
Hits: 1927

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

It Takes Two

Created: 21 February 2017
Hits: 1800

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

All The Same

Created: 11 February 2017
Hits: 2554

My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."

She said: "You miss them all."

And that's when the fight started...

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So men can understand them.

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What is the difference between a bachelor and a married man?

Bachelor comes home, sees what's in the refrigerator, goes to bed. Married man comes home, sees what's in the bed, and goes to the refrigerator.

More Cushion For The Pushin'

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.

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