I always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So I found a pair on sale and wore them home. Walking in the kitchen I asked my wife: "Notice anything different about me?" She looked up and said: "Nope."

So I figured how to fix that. I went into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again I asked her: "Notice anything different now?"  This time she slowly looked me up and down, then said: "What's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!"

Now I was really mad so I told her: "You know why it's hanging down. 'Cause it's lookin' at my new boots!" Without missing a beat she said" "Then you shoulda bought a hat."

And that's when the fight started...