And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

: Created: 04 February 2017; Hits: 3325

Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?"

"Well, at least you tried..."

And that's when the fight started...

: Created: 28 January 2017; Hits: 2848

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

: Created: 23 January 2017; Hits: 2775

A guy's wife was totally letting herself go. So he tells her: "Your butt is getting huge. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" That night in bed, he tries to make a move on her and she totally shuts him down. "What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for just one little weenie?"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Member of the Club

Johnson is out golfing and gets a hole-in-one on the very first hole. Then, he gets another hole-in-one on the second hole. Suddenly his cell phone rings. When he answers a voice says, "This is Memorial Hospital. Your wife has been in a terrible car accident. You need to come at once." Johnson figures, "Let me play one more hole ..."

Well, the next hole he gets an eagle. Now he's all excited, so keeps playing. Turns out he has his best round ever... breaks the club record. Everybody's congratulating him at the clubhouse when... oops... he suddenly remembers about his wife. So he races to the parking lot, jumps in his car and speeds off to the hospital. When he gets there he runs down the hallway where a doctor grabs him by the arm and says, "You piece of shit. You played golf while we worked on your poor wife? Well, she's a vegetable now... and it looks like you're going to have to feed her and change her diapers for the rest of your life. Your golf days are over buddy."

Johnson breaks down crying and says, "My God, Doc. I feel like such a lowdown scumbag. What the hell's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Hey. I was only fucking with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

What's Better?

What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?

Being a man.

More Than One Reason

A young man got a new job running the cash register at a general store. The old store owner promised he would teach him how to be a salesman and up-sell. "Watch how I do it," he said to his new hire.

As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds your grass is gonna start growing and you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut it." "You know," said the customer, "I think you're right. I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one."

The new kid said, "Wow. I think I see what you mean. Let me try one." The next customer in line stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young kid said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that." The man asked the kid, "What the hell are you talking about?"

The wanna-be salesman told him, "It looks like your weekend's shot, so you might as well cut the grass."