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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Not Even GPS Will Help

Created: 06 May 2019
Hits: 1925

A drunk walking home one night staggers into a tree. He backs up, takes a step, and runs into the tree again.

Two more times he bumps into the tree, then curses: "Great. I shoulda been home 2 hours ago, and here I am lost in the damn forest."

Promise Kept

Created: 10 April 2019
Hits: 2200

A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."

​She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."

​St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"

Is Delivery Included?

Created: 05 February 2019
Hits: 1687

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Make Sure It's Tight

What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

One Difference Between Men And Women

My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"

I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"

And that's when the fight started...

It's A Dirty Job

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A Mechanic.

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