Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
What's worse than getting your keys stuck inside your car when you're parked outside an abortion clinic?
Going in to ask if you can borrow a coat hanger.
What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove.
Your lawyer will thank you.
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What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.
A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend asks, “Why not?”
The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
How is a woman like a hurricane?
When they come, they're loud and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car.