What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
If the dove is The Bird Of Love, what's The Bird of True Love?
The swallow.
A drunk's walking along and smacks right into a tree. He backs up a few steps and then walks into the tree again. And then he does it again!
Finally he mumbles to himself, "This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and here I am, lost in the fuckin' forest."
What should you do if your clothes are on fire?
Don't put 'em on.
