Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, showed up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocked everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hung over Bob's arm and listened intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they cornered him to ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replied, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They are now even more knocked out. So now they ask 'How the hell did you persuade that fox to marry you?" "I lied about my age," Bob replied. "What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiled and said, "No, I told her I was 90."
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A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over." She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts." She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too." She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."
The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?" She says, "Yes." The doctor says, "You have a sprained finger."
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A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He says, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jesus, honey...remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on."
She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with the frying pan again.
He says, "What was that for?" She says, "Your horse called."