My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
And that's when the fight started...
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?
You don't look down.
A woman was in bed screwing her husband's best friend when the phone rang
After hanging up, she says, "That was Harry, but don't worry, he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you."