My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off?
Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock!
What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
The difference between a slut & a bitch? A slut will screw anyone. A bitch will screw anyone but you.
