My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
What do you say to a man with five penises?
"Your jeans fit like a glove."
One day at lunch her friend remarked: "So... your husband drowned and left you two million dollars. Wow! Two million dollars, and he couldn't even read or write."
"Yeah" the widow replied, "And he couldn't swim either."
What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
