My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
Why'd the trapeze artist divorce his wife?
He caught her in the act.
Did you hear about the two guys in Minnesota who froze to death in their car at the drive-in theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Season."
How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?
Marry her.