Sex is like a bank account.
First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
Why does a dog lick himself?
He can't make a fist.
My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.
I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"
And that's when the fight started...
