Sex is like a bank account.
First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.
Why are dicks like fish?
You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.
What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.
My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"
Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."
And that's when the fight started...