A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Total Recall Times Two

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Why is the area between her breasts & hips called a waist?

You could easily fit another pair of tits there!

Put Your Foot On The Brake

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Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop anytime.

A True Poet

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My contribution to poetry & truth:

Roses are red that much is true. But violets are purple not fucking blue.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Two Is Better Than One

Mark and Alex are hanging out at home one cold winter day. Alex asks his friend "It's fuckin' freezin' in here. Can you go upstairs and get me my fuckin' slippers?"

So Alex goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Mark's hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, "Your brother just sent me up her to have sex with both of you."

One of the sisters replies, "Yeah. Prove it!"

So Alex yells downstairs, "Hey Mark! Both of them?!"

Mark yells back, "Of course! What's the point of fuckin' one?!"

I'm A Little Hungry

An old guy and his wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The old gal tells her husband: "Go in the kitchen and get me some ice cream." So the old guy gets up and shuffles off to bring his sweetie a treat. By the time he gets to the kitchen he totally forgets what he's there for. So he opens the fridge, looks around and finally grabs some eggs and bacon. He whips up a quick batch of bacon and eggs and heads back to the den.

When he walks in carrying the plate his wife looks up with a scowl and barks: "You forgot the toast!"

What night is it?

What's the difference between a wife and the trash can sittin' in your garage?

You at least take the trash out once a week.