There's A Card For Everything

: Created: 29 August 2017; Hits: 2998

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

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Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.

This Is What I Call It

If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?

A blowjob.

Make A Wish

A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."

The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."

So the crocodile bit his legs off.