There's A Card For Everything

: Created: 29 August 2017; Hits: 2060

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Pray For Me

Willie goes to a revival meeting for some much needed prayer. The preacher says, "Whoever needs to be healed-UH... come for-ward-UH... come to the al-tar-UH... ask for the heal-ing-UH..." Willie gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher says, "All right my son, what do you need me to pray for?" Willie says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one hand over Willie's ear, puts the other hand on top of Willie's head, and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher takes his hands away, stands back, and says, "Son, how is your hearing now?"

Willie says, "I don't know preacher. My hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."

And Now I'm Outta Here

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?

She just couldn’t take it any longer.

Do You Swallow?

Why doesn't Chelsea have any brothers and sisters?

Monica swallowed them.