There's A Card For Everything

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

Why don't Canadians attend orgies?

Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?

If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!