A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

The Billing Rules

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Why does the bar association forbid lawyers & clients from having sex?

To prevent them from billing twice for essentially the same service.

Dad Knows The Score

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When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."

Good Advice

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I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Ask And You Shall Receive

Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.

One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"

The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."

Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!