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PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Sounds Like My Ex-Wife

Created: 12 February 2017
Hits: 2662

What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?

She just kinda lays there.

We Have A Runner

Created: 10 February 2017
Hits: 2896

Why did the woman cross the road?

Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?

I Hope His Prayers Are Answered

Created: 07 February 2017
Hits: 2663

A man's been praying at The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem for 20 years. One day he's being interviewed. The reporter says, "You've been praying at The Wailing Wall for 20 years?" The man says, "Absolutely, 20 years. In the morning when I get up, I pray there should be peace in the world. In the afternoon I pray that misery and hunger should be eliminated. And at night I pray that the Israelis and the Palestinians should live together in harmony."

The reporter says, "Well, those are all very nice thoughts. Tell me, how does it feel?"

The man says, "It's like talking to a fucking wall."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Shoot him in the face!

Paralysis Comes Easy

How do you paralyze a woman from the waist down?

Marry her.

Not Quite A Dozen Roses

My wife and I went to counseling to improve our marriage. While attending one session dealing with communication, the counselor instructed: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

Looking at me she said: "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

I looked over, touched my wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

And that's when the fight started...

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