How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Shoot him in the face!
A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.
His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?
A crack whore.
Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'
Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'