How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Shoot him in the face!
My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"
I told her: "When they get divorced."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control?
A trip without the kids!
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."