Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2252
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, “Do you know her?”
“Yes,” sighs the husband, “She’s my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” says the wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long.”
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2224
A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over." She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts." She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too." She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."
The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?" She says, "Yes." The doctor says, "You have a sprained finger."
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 1768
A man is talking to the family doctor, "Doc, I think my wife’s going deaf." The doctor answers, "Well, here’s something you can try to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn’t answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. Then you’ll be able to tell just how hard of hearing she really is."
The man goes home and tries it out. He walks in the door and says, "Honey, what’s for dinner?" He doesn’t hear an answer, so he moves closer to her. "Honey, what’s for dinner?" Still no answer. He repeats this several times, until he’s standing just a few feet away from her.
Finally, she answers, "For the fifth time, I said we’re having MEATLOAF!"
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 1701
Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?
Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.
