When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
What would you call a woman who goes out with You?
Desperate!
Happy Valentines Day!
If Gin makes you grin and Whiskey makes you frisky, what makes you pregnant?
Two highballs and a squirt.
How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
