When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.
"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.
And that's when the fight started...
One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"
I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"
And that;s when the fight started...
Honeymoon morning after. Wife: "You're a lousy lover."
Husband: "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?"