When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."
One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"
"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."
"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"
"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."
A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."
The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"