When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
Why does a bride smile as she walks down the aisle?
Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.
Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?
By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave?
A microwave doesn't brown your meat!
