When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
What do 9 out of 10 people consider to be a good time?
A gang bang.
Did you hear about the two guys in Minnesota who froze to death in their car at the drive-in theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Season."
What's better than a rose on your piano?
Tulips on your organ.
