Did you hear about the Jewish mother doll?
You pull the string and it says, "Again with the string..."
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."
He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.