Put It On My Bill

Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"

What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste. Ewww...

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

An ironing board's legs are hard to open.