Put It On My Bill

Duck walks into a whorehouse, asks the madame: "If I pick out 1 of your whores will you put it on my bill?"

Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?

Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.

Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

It helps them remember which end to wipe...

Sally: "Let's play house."

Little Johnny: "What do I do?"

Sally: "Communicate your feelings."

Johnny: "How do I do that?"

Sally: "Perfect. You can be the husband!"