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Advice For Newlyweds

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 10 October 2015
Hits: 2273

Keep this in mind... a honeymoon should only be for six days. Why? Because seven days make a whole week.

In fact, don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a weak end.

Just sayin'...

Some Things You Can't Change

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 09 October 2015
Hits: 2937

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Which Class Did you Fail?

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 08 October 2015
Hits: 3175

Two young boys at school were discussing their parents, when one realized he really knew very little about his mom. Arriving home that evening, he gave his mom the third degree.

"How old are you, mom?" he asked. "None of your business," replied his mother. "Okay, then how much do you weigh?" "That's not your business either, young man." The boy thinks a minute, then delivers his final bombshell. "Well then, tell me why you and dad got divorced?" Shocked... mom sends junior to bed without any supper.

The next day, the kid reports his failure to his schoolmate. "I have the solution!" says his buddy, "Just look at her driver's license in her purse. It'll tell you everything you want to know."

Later that day, mom finds her son going through her purse with her driver's license in his hand. "Just what do you think you are doing now?" she screams.

"Well, you wouldn't answer any of my questions yesterday," says the junior detective, "so my friend told me all the answers would be right here on your license. See, you're 40 years old... you weigh 145 pounds... and daddy divorced you 'cause you got an 'F' in Sex."

Don't Find Yourself in Deep Shit!

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 07 October 2015
Hits: 2648

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Rub-A-Dub-Dub

The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."

And that's when the fight started...

Not So Bon Vivant

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

Like A Bird

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense.

"Your Honor," she began coolly, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly."

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