Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
Where you put the cucumber.
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.
I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."
And that's when the fight started...
