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Don't Ask

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 08 July 2016
Hits: 2425

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

Where Else?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 07 July 2016
Hits: 3246

Two old folks were flirting at a senior's singles mingle. After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a romantic night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"

The old woman replied shyly, "Depends... ."

"Depends on what?" he asked. "On my ass -- where else?!"

One of Life's Lessons

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 06 July 2016
Hits: 2752

Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.

The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.

New Yorkers Are So Friendly

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 05 July 2016
Hits: 2959

I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.

Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"

Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...

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Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.

She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.

Whore House

What's more profitable, a 1-story whore house or a 2-story whore house?

A 1-story... no fucking overhead.

Knew It Wouldn't Work

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

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