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Every Frickin' Joke

Roll Call

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 26 June 2016
Hits: 3451

Every morning the teacher took roll call by having her students stand up and recite a short poem. The first to go sat in the front row and was the teacher's pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan. When I grow up to be a man, I want to go to Japan... if I can, and I think I can."

Next up was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood and answered roll call by reciting, "My name is Suzy. When I become a lady, I would like to have a baby... if I can, and I think I can."

Finally it was Little Johnny's turn, a wise guy who sat way in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a crap about Japan. But I'd sure like to help Suzy with her plan... if I can, and you bet your sweet ass I can!"

A Matter of Timing

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 June 2016
Hits: 2842

I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."

It Only Has to Happen Once

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 24 June 2016
Hits: 2790

How are blondes like computers?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

 

Celebrate Good Times C'mon

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 23 June 2016
Hits: 2898

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king – moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him... but I said no."

Husband says: "Yep... and it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Sounds Like My Ex-Wife

What's a necrophiliac's biggest complaint about sex?

She just kinda lays there.

Just The Tip?

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife. She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh." The husband sadly turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife. "Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

I Always Wonder Why

It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.

I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."

And that's when the fight started.

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