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Roll Call

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 26 June 2016
Hits: 3356

Every morning the teacher took roll call by having her students stand up and recite a short poem. The first to go sat in the front row and was the teacher's pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan. When I grow up to be a man, I want to go to Japan... if I can, and I think I can."

Next up was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood and answered roll call by reciting, "My name is Suzy. When I become a lady, I would like to have a baby... if I can, and I think I can."

Finally it was Little Johnny's turn, a wise guy who sat way in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a crap about Japan. But I'd sure like to help Suzy with her plan... if I can, and you bet your sweet ass I can!"

A Matter of Timing

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 June 2016
Hits: 2765

I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."

It Only Has to Happen Once

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 24 June 2016
Hits: 2710

How are blondes like computers?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

 

Celebrate Good Times C'mon

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 23 June 2016
Hits: 2809

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king – moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him... but I said no."

Husband says: "Yep... and it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Question For Bird Watchers

Why are crows so damn noisy when they fuck?

Caws!

They're All Doin' It

Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"

The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."

Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.

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