A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Who I'm Voting For

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2887

Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:

"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."

Good Thing He Had His Eyes Open

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 3028

A guy is having dinner with his girlfriend at a restaurant when he suddenly gets down on one knee.

His surprised girlfriend begins to say: "This is so sudden..." When the guy interrupts: "Shhh... my wife just walked in!"

You're Asking The Wrong Person

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2098

The family was having dinner last night when our son turned to his mother and asked: "Mom, what's a blowjob"

I turned to him and said: "Your mother doesn't know son."

And that's when the fight started...

In The Classroom

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2384

The teacher asked the class: "What's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde raised her hand and answered: "W"

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The Story of My Love Life

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girlfriend.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. What I really wanted was a girl with a zest for life.

When I was 19, I found a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. So I looked for a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a stable girl, but she was too boring. What i needed was a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but she lacked direction and was too petty. I thought I'd be better off with a girl with some ambition.

When I was 31, I found an ambitious girl. Yeah... she was so ambitious that she married me, divorced me, and took everything I owned.

Now I am 40, and all I want is a girl with big tits!

They Do Look The Same

This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices a handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out, to which he responds, "Sure lady."

They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers, "You know, I have an itchy pussy."

The young man responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!"

Safety in the Kitchen

Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The fireman giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked: "Does anyone know what this is?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and he said: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!"