In The Classroom

The teacher asked the class: "What's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde raised her hand and answered: "W"

What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste. Ewww...

I quit my job at the helium gas factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A Mechanic.