In The Classroom

The teacher asked the class: "What's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde raised her hand and answered: "W"

What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.

Darling.

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"

I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."

And that's when the fight started...