Every Frickin' Joke
On The Night Beat
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3075
A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."
"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."
"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"
"Because I'm drunk."
It's A Celebration
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 2888
My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"
I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."
And that;s when the fight started...
Tell Me A Story
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2908
Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"
Read Him His Rights
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3222
A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
So he shouts back: "Tits"
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