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Don't Mix Up The Schedule

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 05 November 2016
Hits: 2438

A woman visits the doctor, with bumps and bruises all over her body. She complains that it was her husband who beat her.

The doctor is surprised: "I thought your husband was out of town."

"So did I..."

One Too Many

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 04 November 2016
Hits: 1989

A guy is sitting at the bar and he's really drunk. His dick is out, he's a monstrous hard-on, and he's beating off like there's no tomorrow.

The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get outta here."

The guy says, "Are you kiddin'? No way I can leave. If I stood up I couldn't walk. In fact, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm screwin'."

May I Ask Who's Calling

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 03 November 2016
Hits: 2250

A man calls the doctor and is frantic, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asks.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

Get In Line

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 02 November 2016
Hits: 3302

Guy visits his doctor with a problem "Doc, I don't know what to do about my wife. Every night, she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She's fucking everybody in town and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then give me the directions to Harry's Bar."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

Get A Little Culture

I took my wife to the art gallery. The 1st picture was a naked women with a small patch of leaves over her private parts. My wife didn't like it so she said: "Let's keep going."

When I didn't follow right away she turned and asked: "What are you waiting for?"

I told her: "Autumn."

And that's when the fight started...

Brrrrrrrrrr

Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"

I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"

And that's when the fight started...

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