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Five Will Get You Ten

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 24 October 2016
Hits: 2368

What do you say to a man with five penises?

"Your jeans fit like a glove."

He Should Have Done The TIme

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 23 October 2016
Hits: 2332

A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied.

"Well, I would have been released tonight."

And that's when the fight started...

Turnabout is Fair Play

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 22 October 2016
Hits: 3072

Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.

The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river. So God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.

The second man prays to God to make him even smarter. So God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.

Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all. So God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.

Say Hello to Your New Friend

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 21 October 2016
Hits: 2284

An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery to bury her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife...you two have a lot in common."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not Your Typical Over The Counter Medicine

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

Do I Make You Hungry Baby?

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

No Talking In The Library

The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."

The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"

So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."

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