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Five Will Get You Ten

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 24 October 2016
Hits: 2677

What do you say to a man with five penises?

"Your jeans fit like a glove."

He Should Have Done The TIme

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 23 October 2016
Hits: 2614

A wife woke up in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house, and heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found her husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied.

"Well, I would have been released tonight."

And that's when the fight started...

Turnabout is Fair Play

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 22 October 2016
Hits: 3351

Three blonde men are stranded on one side of a wide river, and don't know how to get across.

The first man prays to God to make him smart enough to figure out how to cross the river. So God turns him into a brown-haired man and he swims across.

The second man prays to God to make him even smarter. So God turns him into a dark-haired man and he builds a boat and rows across.

Then the third man prays to God to make him the smartest of all. So God turns him into a woman and she walks across the bridge.

Say Hello to Your New Friend

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 21 October 2016
Hits: 2577

An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery to bury her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife...you two have a lot in common."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Needs More Duct Tape

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

A Little Bit Of Alcohol Always Does The Trick

How are nail polish and panties the same?

They both come off with a little alcohol.

Here Kitty, Kitty

A lady goes to the doctor's office and tells the doctor that she can't get her husband to have sex with her anymore. So, the doctor gives her some pills and says to give her husband one each night in his dinner whenever she wants to have sex.

That night she gave him one and they had a decent night of sex. The next night she decided to try 4 pills and she had even better sex. Well the next night she tried 8 pills and the sex was wonderful. So the next night she decided to dump the whole bottle in his dinner.

The next day her son showed up at the doctor's office and and said, "Doctor, Doctor, what did you do to my Daddy? My mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my butt hurts, and my dad's going around the house saying here kitty, kitty, kitty!"

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