What do you say to a man with five penises?
"Your jeans fit like a glove."
The only thing wrong with sex on television is that you could fall off.
What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can smell it, but they can't eat it.
Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
This year I didn't buy her anything..
When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"
And that's when the fight started...
