A girl says to her doctor, "You have to help me. I hurt all over." She touches her right knee with her index finger and says, "Ow! That hurts." She touches her left cheek with her index finger and says, "Ouch! That hurts, too." She touches her right earlobe with her index finger and says, "Ow! Even that hurts."
The doctor says, "Are you a natural blonde?" She says, "Yes." The doctor says, "You have a sprained finger."
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed after a little quickie. The farmer stroked his wife's bare breasts and said, "Y'know, honey, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."
Sighing, his wife grabbed her husband's dick and said: "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."