How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.
He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.
But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."
"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"
"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."
Wife: "My husband said that?"
"No, all the landscapers."
What's a platonic relationship?
That's a friendship between a girl and a guy who wants to fuck her.