How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
College professor to her creative writing class, "Your assignment - write the shortest story you can that includes religion, sex and mystery."
Only one girl got an A on her paper. She wrote: "Good God, I'm pregnant ... I wonder who did it?"
I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
