How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
Guy gets home from work on the day the stock market tumbled looking visibly upset. His wife asks: "Honey, what's the matter?"
He tells her: "I can't believe I lost half my money and I still have you."
And that's when the fight started...
A priest gets a flat tire fixed.
As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"
The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."
The priest says, "You better give them another turn."
So I went to the doctor for a physical and he told me I should stop jerking off. I asked him why should I stop?
He told me: "Because you're at a physical."
