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Read Him His Rights

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 17 November 2016
Hits: 3167

A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."

Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"

No Prescription Necessary

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 16 November 2016
Hits: 2802

A lady walked into a pharmacy and asked: "Do you have Viagra?" The pharmacist answered: "Sure." She then asked: "Does it work?" and his reply was: "Definitely!"

Finally whe wanted to know: "Can you get it over the counter?" and he told her "I can if I take two!"

A Bum and A Rich Broad

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 15 November 2016
Hits: 2662

A bum walks up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and says: "I haven't eaten anything in four days!"

She looks back at him and says: "God I wish I had your will power."

Under Pressure

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 14 November 2016
Hits: 2947

I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"

I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Gone Fishin'

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a Torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my idiot husband Is out fishing in that?"

And that's when the fight started...

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...

Until I Met A Boy Who Had No Hands

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves! 

Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.

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