It's A Celebration

My wife smiled at breakfast this morning and said: "Today is our anniversary darling... what should we do?"

I told her: "Stand in silence for 2 minutes."

And that;s when the fight started...

The difference between a whore & a bitch?

A whore fucks everyone at the party. The bitch? Everyone but you.

A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.

The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."

The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."

I wish I had parents like Dora.

They let that little bitch go everywhere.