What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?
A smartass!
A wife tells her husband: "I have good news & bad news." The husband says: "Just give me the good news."
The wife: "The paperboy isn't sterile."
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
What about a deer with no eyes & no legs?
Still no idea.
And a deer with no eyes, no legs & no dick?
Still no fuckin' idea.
My wife was lying in bed a little dissatisfied with my performance when she asked: "What do my clitoris, our anniversary, and the fuckin' toilet have in common?" I said "You got me."
She said: "You miss them all."
And that's when the fight started...
