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Every Frickin' Joke

No Fairy Tale

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3624

Little Red Riding Hood went to grandma's house and found her lying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, ''Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied: ''The better to see you with, my dear.'' Then Little Red Riding Hood remarked: ''Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma smiled and said: "The better to hear you with, my dear.''

Finally Little Red Riding Hood said: ''Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma snapped back: ''Of course I do! Have you seen Grandpa's dick?!?''

The Billing Rules

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2719

Why does the bar association forbid lawyers & clients from having sex?

To prevent them from billing twice for essentially the same service.

Deal Me In

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2997

Little Johnny walks in on his parents having sex and asks, "What are you doing?" His father says, "We're playing cards, and your mother is my wild card."

A week later, Little Johnny walks in on his father masturbating. He asks, "What are you doing?" His father says, "I'm playing cards." "Where's your wild card?" Johnny asks.

His father replies, "Son, you don't need one when you've got a good hand."

Dad Knows The Score

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2910

When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Best Bar In Town

Three guys are in a bar discussing which joint in town has the best deal on drinks.

The first guy boasts, "There's a bar on the South Side where the bartender will set up a free drink for every one you buy."

The next guy says, "That's nothing! Over on the West Side there's a bar where the bartender will pour you a double shot free for every one you buy."

The last guy is totally unimpressed and says, "That's nothing. There's a place somewhere on the North Side where the owner buys you drinks all night. Then when the bar closes, he takes you into a back room with a cot makes love to you all night."

The first two guys are shocked but a little skeptical, so they ask if he's actually been there. "Nope," the guys says, "But my sister told me all about it."

It's All In The Name

An inventor walks into the Patent Office office and says to the girl behind the desk, "I'd like to register my new invention, a folding bottle."

The clerk asks. "What do you call it?" He tells her, "I call it a fottle." She says, "That's kind of silly, but OK we can set you up."

He says, "Thanks, I'll work on the name. Hey, I also have a folding carton too."

She says, "Really? And what do you call that?" He says, "A farton."

She says in disgust, "That's totally offensive. You can't use that name."

He says, "Uh-oh! I guess I'll have to scratch the one I was going to use for my folding bucket."

Go F*ck Yourself

Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.