Every Frickin' Joke
How It Really Happened
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2673
An 80-year-old man was having his annual physical when his doctor asked him how he was feeling. "Doc," he bragged, I’ve never been better! I've got plenty of dough for retirement and I’ve got a 20-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my baby! Pretty good, right?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So there he was in the woods, when suddenly a grizzly bear appeared right in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?"
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead right there on the spot." "That’s impossible!" the old guy argued. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That’s exactly what I’m getting at..." replied the doctor.
Make A Wish
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2774
A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
A Farmer's Dilemma
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 3060
A farmer and his wife were lying in bed after a little quickie. The farmer stroked his wife's bare breasts and said, "Y'know, honey, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."
Sighing, his wife grabbed her husband's dick and said: "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."
And that's when the fight started...
You're On The Clock
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2855
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times. In moments of temptation ask yourself just one question: Is 15 minutes of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
One young girl in the back of the room rose and asked: "Excuse me, but how do you make it last 15 minutes?"
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