Why did the woman cross the road?
Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
A woman at the Pearly Gates asks St. Peter, "Is my husband here? My name is Johnson." St. Peter says, "Well, that's not enough information."
She says, "OK... his name is Dick Johnson and he told me that after he died, if I was ever unfaithful, he'd roll over in his grave."
St. Peter says, "Oh .. you mean Pinwheel Johnson!"
The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.
If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?
When we first started dating I wanted to show my girfriend I was serious. So I changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship."
When I told her she said: "It should've been changd to 'under new management!'"
And that's when the fight started...
