Why did the woman cross the road?
Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.
The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
