What's the definition of eternity?
The time between when you cum and when she leaves.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The bartender looks at him and says: "Hey matey, do you know you have a steering wheel attached to your dick?"
The pirate replies: "Arrrgh... and it's driving me nuts!"
Which is the odd one out a woman, a microwave or a freezer?
The microwave, the other two leak when they're fucked!
My dick is so smart it was Valedictorian of my senior class. My prom date was voted most likely to succeed. Say it slowly... you'll get it.