How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?
She sits on his face and he tells lies.
Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.
A cop pulls a guy over and gives him the breathalyzer test.
The cop is so shocked he says: "Jesus man... you are REALLY drunk."
The guy looks up and says; "Thank God. I thought my steering went out."
