Hold On There Little Fella

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.

"Won't that knock my teeth out?"

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?

Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.