Hold On There Little Fella

: Created: 20 December 2014; Hits: 2458

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

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Hey Ma How 'Bout Some Cookies?

One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking a cigarette. So Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke one of your cigarettes?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No", said Little Johnny. His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."

The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer. He asked, "Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?" His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" "No" said Little Johhny. "Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.

The following day, Little Johnny was in the kitchen eating some cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?" Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?" His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!" Little Johnny told him, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"

Like The Back Of My Hand...

We were getting ready in the bathroom together when my wife started putting her deodorant on. Thinking she was being cute she asked: "What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?"

I told her: "The back of my hand."

And that's when the fight started...

The Miracle of Lights

What do you call 8 days of blowjobs by candlelight?

Honica Lewinsky.