Divide and Conquer

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

My dick's so big it was overthrown by a military coup. It's now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

What do you call two lesbians in a closet?

A liqour cabinet.