Reason To Stay Single

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

Gallery owner: "Guy came in bought all your paintings."

Artist: "Great."

"Not really, he was your doctor."

What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

The captain's log.

How many Freudian psychaitrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. Ladder! I meant ladder.