A man picks up a cute little number in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. After they're done screwing around he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"
She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be... your face looks familiar."
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery to bury her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife...you two have a lot in common."