Reason To Stay Single

: Created: 27 July 2016; Hits: 2238

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

Don't Miss These Jokes!

It Takes Two

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

Not For Instagram

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.

Love That New iWatch errr Apple Watch

A Marine fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks down at his new Apple Watch. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple Watch, and I was just testing it.”

Intrigued, the woman inquires, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

Now she's really interested, so she says, “What’s it telling you now?” "Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”

The fighter pilot looks down again, taps his watch a couple of times then smiles and says, “Darnn! This thing’s an hour fast.” And that, my friends...Is confidence!