Jack and his buddies were hanging out, planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, Jack had to tell them that he couldn't make it because his wife wouldn't let him go. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Jack headed home frustrated and depressed.
The following week when all the guys arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Jack sitting in his camp chair next to a roaring campfire with a cold beer in his hand. "How did you talk your wife into letting you come?" the guys asked.
"I didn't have to," Jack replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I came home, grabbed a beer, and slumped down in the couch ready to drown my sorrows knowing I couldn't go fishing with you guys. Then the ol' lady snuck up behind me, covered my eyes and yelled, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back and spun around, there she was standing in front of me in a beautiful see through negligee. In a low voice she whispered, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' And so... here I am!"
A wife arrived home after a shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a cute little hottie.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house in anger, her husband stopped her and begged to explain: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl. She was looking poor and tired, so I offered her a ride. She said she was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the fridge. Her shoes were worn out, so I offered her the pair you didn’t wear because you thought they went out of style. She was cold so I gave her that birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours, the ones you said didn’t fit anymore. Then as this poor young lady was about to leave, she paused at the door and asked me, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?'"
