How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?
Draw a dick on it.
My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
How does one explain the miracle of Hanukkah to todays generation?
Tell them that it's like if they charged their smartphone to last for 1 day, but it ended up lasting 8 days!
What's a Turkeys favorite song?
"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"
