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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Out To Lunch

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Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

Asked About A Nun

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How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

A Guy At The Bar

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A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Men are Dogs, Not Vice Versa

Why does a dog lick himself?

He can't make a fist.

That's Why They Name Hurricanes After Women

How is a woman like a hurricane?

When they come, they're loud and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car.

Who's Your Daddy?

Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.

The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."

The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."

Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."

So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"

And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."