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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Out To Lunch

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Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

Asked About A Nun

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How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

A Guy At The Bar

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A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Make A Wish

After many years of marriage a husband up and tells his wife he wished she had bigger breasts. "How am I supposed to get bigger breasts?" she asks. "That’s simple." he says, "Just rub them with toilet paper every day." "What the hell is that supposed to do?" his wife shot back.

"Well," answered her husband, "It worked for your ass!"

And that's when the fight started...

Read Him His Rights

A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

So he shouts back: "Tits"

Ripped from the Headlines

So I was reading the paper the other day when I caught the headline: "Sex no more strenuous than golf, expert says"

What would we do without experts? But yeah... true... and for some guys sex is harder to get it in the hole!