Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

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Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A lady goes golfing and gets hit in the ass really hard with a golf ball. She goes to the doctor.

The doctor says, "Where were you hit?" She says, "Between the first and the second hole."

He says, "That doesn't leave alot of room for a band-aid, does it?"

Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."

"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.

"Waiting for me to get home."

Out To Lunch