Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

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Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"

Wife: "In the pool."

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

I quit my job at the helium gas factory.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

Out To Lunch