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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Doctor's Recommendation

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A doctor is meeting with a husband after examining his wife. The doctor tells him: "Your wife's diagnosis is uncertain. She either has Aids or she has Alzheimers."

The husband asks: "What should I do, doc?"

The doctor advises him: "Drive her five miles outside of town and drop her off. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Question About A Blonde

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Why was the blonde's belly button red and hurting after sex?

Her boyfriend was also blonde.

Advice From Dad

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Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

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Biology Class

The teacher was trying to teach the class the proper words to use when describing bodily functions. She admonished the class to use the term urinate. To reinforce the lesson she asked the class to use their knew word in a sentence.

When she called on Little Johhny he said: "Teacher... urinate. But if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten!"

Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

Thanksgiving Day Football

The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.

Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"