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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

A Guy At The Bar

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A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

Researchers Have Discovered

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Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.

Do you know what they sing?

I didn't think you did.

Women Are A Mystery

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Why can't a woman ever be satisfied?

Because no man has a dick made out of chocolate that shoots money.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Depends on How You Like It

What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."

The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."

The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."

The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

Not What She Was Hoping For

What does a Polish girl get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

A new last name.