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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

As He Walked Through The Bar

Created: 23 October 2014
Hits: 3258

A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."

The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".

So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."

On The Parade Route

Created: 21 October 2014
Hits: 4177

Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.

One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."

The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"

The New Pet

Created: 18 October 2014
Hits: 4507

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

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They both need a hoe to stay in business.

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Why do blondes wear underwear?

To keep their ankles warm.

Strange Sexual Positions

A couple went to a sex therapist to try and improve their sex live. After hearing the couple's complaints, the therapist suggested they experiment a little more. "For example," he suggested, "You might try different positions, like the wheelbarrow. You lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."

The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.

"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "But on two conditions. First if it hurts, you'll stop right away, and second," she insisted, "You must promise we won't go past my mother's."

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