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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

As He Walked Through The Bar

Created: 23 October 2014
Hits: 3419

A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."

The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".

So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."

On The Parade Route

Created: 21 October 2014
Hits: 4328

Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.

One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."

The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"

The New Pet

Created: 18 October 2014
Hits: 4652

A guy is just miserable.  So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

How It's Done on the Reservation

A little Native American boy asks the chief how babies in their tribe get their names.

The chief replies, "When a baby is born, his father takes him outside the teepee, holds him over his head, and names him after the first thing he sees - like 'Running-Wolf' or 'Flying-Cloud'. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Screwing?"

Be Careful Where You Dump Your Load

Difference between women & a washing machine? Dump your load in a washing machine doesn't call a week later.

That Little Prick

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed, "Are those all for me?"

"Just take two," his mom replied. "The rest are for your father."

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