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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

So What Does It Mean?

Hits: 3662

What's it mean when two lesbians make love?

It doesn't mean dick.

How To Tell The DIfference

Hits: 3103

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.

A Man's Man

Hits: 3322

What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?

Focused.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Bend Over

A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.

The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"

The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."

Ringling Brothers

My wife was about to start her morning nag when I shot out: "You know our marriage is like a three-ring circus..."

And before she could comment I told her why: "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering!"

And that's when the fight started...

What To Do When The Car Is At The Mechanic

It's a really hot day, and a penguin takes his car to a mechanic. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there, he climbs inside the big freezer to sit and eat his ice cream. An hour goes by when the penguin looks at his watch, jumps out of the freezer and races back to the mechanic.

With ice cream all over his face and his stomach, he asks, "So how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, I was just eating ice cream."