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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

So What Does It Mean?

Hits: 3599

What's it mean when two lesbians make love?

It doesn't mean dick.

How To Tell The DIfference

Hits: 3061

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.

A Man's Man

Hits: 3274

What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?

Focused.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Lost Wife

Losing a wife can be hard.  

In most cases, it’s damn near impossible.

The Dangers of Modern Technology

A guy gets a text from his neighbor, "I'm really sorry Harry. I've been saddled with so much guilt that I have to confess. I've been tapping your wife day and night when you're not home. In fact, probably a lot more than you. I don't get it at home, but that's no excuse. I just can't deal with the guilt any more ... I hope you'll accept my apology and my promise that it won't happen again."

Furious, the guy grabs his gun, storms into his wife's bedroom and shoots her dead.

A few minutes later, he gets another text: "Fucking auto-correct. I meant wifi, not wife."

The Long And The Short Of It

Three guys are arguing about who has the longest dick, and they decide the only way to find out once and for all is to go to the Observation Deck of the Empire State Building and hang them over the side.

The first guy says, "Check it out. My pecker reaches down to the 68th floor." The second guy says, "That's nothing. This beauty's dangling down past the 34th floor."

They look over and see the third guy jumping up and down and back and forth. The first guy yells at him, "What the hell are you doing?" He says, "Dodgin' traffic."